LAS VEGAS (VPI) With challenger Nicky Hayden trailing incumbent Mat Mladin by 18 points in the race to be the first Chief Executive AMA Superbike Racer of the 21st Century, all eyes, some ears, and a startling number of bodily orifices are aimed towards the upcoming conventions in September.

"The Hondas and Suzukis will lay down their platforms and anoint their chosen leaders, which could get a bit messy," explained amasuperbike.com's crack Political Analyst and Joe the Elk's stall cleaner, Alexander Politico. "They will try to rally their Faithful as well as reach out to Kawasaki, Ducati, Yamaha and Harley-Davidson fans to bring them on board. Rhetoric will be flying like Anthony Gobert when his Bimota seized. There will be charges and counter charges, because both sides badly want to see their candidates at the top of the podium at season's end so they can sing'Hail To The Chief' to them."

Some nay-sayers (the really obnoxious ones, especially) will say that these "conventions" are actually "dealer meetings" and are not political in nature. But, they're wrong. Dead wrong. A Greenpeace boat operator at a Rush Limbaugh weenie roast wrong here, people. These two parties want to see there guy be the next Professional Racing's Elite Supremo (or PRES for short) and they will use all kinds of clever, devious tactics to achieve this end.

"Tactics? Oh yeah, they'll use those," confirmed a motorcycle pundit who claims he is not for either candidate (but will write favorable race reports for food). "Devious ones, no doubt. And strategies will play a big part in these devious tactics, you can be sure of that."

We've already seem some of those strategy-laden devious tactics, too. Who would have thought, for example, that Nicky Hayden would have chosen a Canadian (Miguel Duhamel) as his Honda running mate? This, some say, has broken down a barrier, or a hay bail, or tire wall, or some damn thing.

Mat Mladin played it safer, by choosing a well-respected American (Double-A-Ron Yates) as his Suzuki partner. Yates and Duhamel will give some rousing speeches at the conventions, and no doubt enter into the scrap at Willow. Bank on it. The Enforcer will take on The Warrior, and they will battle at the front for the sake of the Chosen Ones. Should make for great theater.

"Theater, especially great theater, is an integral part of the devious, strategy-laden tactics that clash when two great powers, fueled by lots of money and supporters with gimme-caps, do battle," explained Mr. Politico as he shoveled huge, manly mounds of elk manure out the window and into the back of Scott Russell's Humvee.

Theater will no doubt also rear its great self at the conventions, too, when veteran speakers (like Suzuki's Kevin Schwantz or Honda's Freddie Spencer) will recapture their party's past glory and fire up the crowds with rousing speeches and the odd humorous anecdote.

And speaking of humorous anecdotes, what, you ask, will be the impact of Independent parties? "Watch Larry Pegram," I've heard some pundits say, especially ones who like to have lots of Accessories for their Competition. "Ol' Larry, he could swing the race either way at Willow, don't cha know."

He could, too. This will come down to the wire, no matter what the points-pointers say. Yes, Mladin just has to finish 11th or better to win, but so what? Anything can happen.

Makes for great theater, don't you think?