Two eyes from the east, it's the angel or the beast! image by riles and nelson

Unlike most things that happened in the 80's, my encounter with
Yamaha's VMax left burnt rubber permanently smudged across my memory.

I was leaning against my Chevy Chevette, in the parking lot behind John Glenn High School in East Northport. It was the weekend meeting place for my crowd; we cranked tunes, cashed in a few brain cells, and were largely left alone by the cops. Ronnie James Dio's "Last In Line" was blasting thru the Radio Shack bookshelf speakers sitting on my back seats; I had just seen The Demon Elf perform live a few hours before. Other than a brief, awkward interlude where RJD battled a giant mechanical dragon with a laser whip (I sh*t you not), the show was unbelievably rocking. So of course, a late night parking lot debrief with my head-banging pals was mandatory.

As I recounted the laser duel, an open Bartles & Jaymes sloshing Orange Sunset winecooler from my outstretched fist, a motorcycle pulled up. The rider removed his white Bell helmet, and hey, it was Pat. Acid washed jeans, pink tank top, ginger mullet hair and matching walrus mustache, Pat looked like a drummer in a metal band, the kind who twirls his sticks too much. He was astride what looked like the motorcycle equivalent of a .357 Magnum, and said it was a VMax. Just that morning, Pat slapped down his entire landscaping check as a downpayment on the bike. It didn't matter that his riding experience was mostly on dirtbikes, Pat explained that this was the most powerful motorcycle in the world, how cool was that? He had been racing and beating every hot rod on Deer Park Avenue that night. In a Long Island tongue, slathered with molten Buttafucco, he asked "D'ya wanna seeah boinout?" Sure Pat, yeah, let's see you smoke that thing up. "OK holmai hemmet," he replied.

As I recounted the laser duel, an open Bartles & Jaymes sloshing Orange Sunset winecooler from my outstretched fist, a motorcycle pulled up. The rider removed his white Bell helmet, and hey, it was Pat. Acid washed jeans, pink tank top, ginger mullet hair and matching walrus mustache, Pat looked like a drummer in a metal band, the kind who twirls his sticks too much. He was astride what looked like the motorcycle equivalent of a .357 Magnum, and said it was a VMax.

Pat pulled in the clutch, grabbed hold of the front brake and brought the revs up. Subtle hints of smoke began to waft off the back tire, then pour off, billowing into a thick cloud. Somebody shouted "Hey your bike is spitting rubber all over my Monte!" and Pat looked over his shoulder. The distraction caused him to ease up on the brake lever; suddenly, the tires got traction and the Max rocketed forward thru the crowd. Pat had no control over the bike, which shot out on a random trajectory across the parking lot, like a ricochet in a bank vault. People scattered. Thru the smoke, I saw his eyes, wide and white as dinner plates, as Pat sped towards a parked car. I figured he was toast for sure. There was a huge screech, then a surprisingly small thump. We ran to Pat, who sat panting on the VMax, the bike having stopped mere inches away from the driver door. There wasn't a scratch on him—surely, God himself must have hit the kill switch. Tire smoke still thick around us, I asked him, "Jesus Pat, are you OK?" He caught his breath, nodded, and said two words:

"Whuddah Pissuh!"

Over the past 23 years the VMax changed very little, and developed an iconic status. Handling and braking improved slightly over time, but the formula remained simple: big torque, big horsepower, big presence. VMax fans the world over held their breath year after year for the announcement of a revised bike, with better handling, ergos and more power. Finally, in June 2008, the new Star VMax was unveiled. Soup travelled to San Diego last week to get some street time on the new machine.

There are big changes—displacement is increased from 1198 to 1679cc, netting a 64 horsepower improvement to 197 at the crank, and a whopping 35 foot pound increase in torque. Compression has been bumped from 10:5:1 to 11:3:1, and the bike now sports a unique combination gear/chain drive valve train, which enables a shorter and narrower powerplant. The new VMax still sports 5 gears, is shaft driven, and now drinks premium gasoline only. It is now fuel injected, using the latest generation 12 hole injectors from Mikuni. The 4 valve per cylinder V Four requires valve adjustment every 26,000 miles, and sits in an all new aluminum frame. Magnesium covers are used liberally on the motor for decreased weight and better heat dispersion. Fork tube diameter is now 52mm, vs. 43mm on the old bike, and it is titanium oxide coated. Suspension at both ends of the bike is totally adjustable for rebound, compression and preload. The rider triangle has been opened up, improving ergos. Wheels are now both 18 inch, with a fat 200mm tire on the back end. All very tasty and sensible improvements.

But Star didn't stop there, and this bike has a bunch of technical improvements which elevate the VMax to a whole new level of competence and performance. The bike gets a slipper clutch, very helpful on such a large displacement motor. In the braking department, 320 mm wave rotors with radially mounted 6 piston calipers and a Brembo radial master are up front. A 298 mm rear disc with Brembo master is out back, and the whole system is controlled by ABS. The under seat fuel tank is made from polyethylene, not metal, and is specially treated so as not to leak fuel vapors. The VMax now features two key Yamaha technologies which are also on the R1 and R6 sportbikes; Yamaha Chip Controlled Intake, and Chip Controlled Throttle. The YCC-I system varies intake funnel length to optimize acceleration, and the YCC-T improves throttle response, eliminates bogging, and reduces engine braking. Controlling all this hi-tech wizardry is a 3 CPU ECM, which is probably smarter than most computers you owned in the 1990s. Lastly, there is a multifunction display on the faux fuel tank, via which the rider can review a huge list of information, including odometer, clock, fuel level, trip meter, gear selection, coolant temp, mpg, a stopwatch, and throttle grip angle. Star kept to the basic formula of big torque, big horsepower and big presence, make no mistake—the bike has been updated and modernized in every regard. The only black mark it gets in the spec list is a 61 pound weight increase to 685 wet.

It took a while for the looks to grow on me, as I thought the new VMax was a little overdone when I saw the intro photos. But I remember having initially felt the same way 23 years ago, seeing the original Max for the first time. The bike wasn't meant to be subtle dynamically, nor visually. Much in the same way that auto manufacturers are looking back to the 60's and 70s, redesigning and releasing muscle cars as new models, so too the VMax has familiar visual elements of the previous model. But unlike the redux muscle cars, which are often disappointing design exercises with watered down performance relative to the originals, the 2009 Star VMax wholly supersedes the legacy model.

I turned the ignition key, prompting the phrase "Time To Ride—This Is VMax!" to appear on the tank display—very cool. The starter makes a familiar whistle when cranked, which drove me nuts all day as I tried to place it, finally realizing that it sounds exactly like the whistle in the Steve Miller Band song, "Jungle Love"! Picking the bike off the kickstand, it is obvious that this is a big, heavy motorcycle. Pulling out of the parking lot, the throttle response felt a touch too sensitive, and the front steering somewhat heavy. For a moment, I started to wonder if I'd enjoy my time on the VMax. But at speed, the balance of the bike emerged, and it proved surprisingly agile once in motion. I took notice of the sweet shifting gearbox and the shaft drive, which didn't squat or jack noticeably on or off the gas. The VMax has a massively strong clutch to handle nearly 200 horsepower, but the clutch action was fairly light. We got onto a stretch of open road, and I finally opened it up. Nothing I have ridden before prepared me for the tsunami of force this bike unleashed.

How best to describe the acceleration? In Shelby Cobra lore, there is a well known story about a 427 SC owner that had a $100 bill taped to the dashboard of his car. He'd offer people a ride and tell them that they could keep the hundred, but only if they were able to grab it AFTER he mashed the gas pedal. None ever snatched the bill, as all were slammed back into their seats by the violent g-forces of the 427 accelerating thru the gears. Well, I've ridden in some fast Cobras, and the 2009 Star VMax would absolutely destroy any of those cars in a straight line race. The rush from 20 to 120 mph is made so quickly that your brain can barely process the time or distance; it is as though you have been displaced from one physical reality to another. The V Four gives a feeling of punchy low end and midrange torque very similar to a Harley or an air-cooled Ducati, only super-supersized. It is so unbelievably easy to turn any following vehicle into a tiny dot in your rearview mirror. The powerplant had me giggling all day, as well as the other journos on the test, who were were laughing, burning rubber and generally being model hooligans. The sounds this bike makes are special. As the throttle blips, and air rushes into the intakes, there is a deep woofing sound, as though you are prodding a huge Saint Bernard. The bike at idle just sounds mean, just like McQueen's Mustang creeping in the moments before the epic chase scene begins in "Bullitt". I can't wait to hear the new VMax with open pipes.

Handling was not a strong point of the original Vmax, and an entire cottage industry rose up to address the chassis shortcomings. There are dozens of aftermarket frame & fork braces, steering dampers, and upgraded shocks available for the pre-2009 bike. I was expecting the Max to be greatly improved in this regard, and I wasn't disappointed. Star took us out on some very twisty bits of canyon tarmac, and the bike handled beautifully in a wide range of road conditions. I don't think any owner of the new bike will need to spend money on aftermarket handling solutions. On a tight 2 lane road, I got stuck behind some cars which took a while to pass, and ended up riding alone for about 15 minutes while trying to catch the group. It was one of those times when you get a rhythm with a bike, things just flow and your brain kicks into autopilot. I could put the VMax anywhere I wanted, as it soaked up bumps nicely. I kept it a gear high, and rolled on the power as I got on the meat of the tire, catapulting from corner to corner. When I caught up to the guys, I was almost bummed. I wanted some more private time with this bike. Dismounting for lunch, I circled the bike and noted individual design elements. The giant tach/speedo on top of the triple clamp sports a gear change indicator, and is easily legible in bright sunlight. The fit and finish is at a custom level, the trademark aluminum side air scoops now functional, and highly polished. The VMax is almost as good to look at as it is to ride—almost.

There were a couple of small things that could be improved. As I mentioned earlier, the throttle response is very sensitive, and will not tolerate ham fisted riders. If bumpy pavement upsets the bike, you'd better have a loose grip on the gas. It took me about a 1/2 hour to adapt, but I didn't think about the fueling again until just after lunch, when I rode a little sloppy and the bike didn't like it one bit. The riding position is comfortable initially, but the tank and the scoops conspire to spread your legs fairly wide apart. If your resume does not include a long stint of employment at the O'Farrell Theater, your hips and inner thighs will be hurting after a few hours in the saddle. Pushing 700 pounds wet, the bike could stand to lose some weight. At higher RPM, there is high frequency vibration in the seat, which tingles your dingo. But honestly, none of these nitpicks detract from the ride that much. Of course, you could get in trouble real fast if you don't respect this bike. I'm thinking of those YouTube videos where girls fire .50 caliber pistols, and the recoil flips the gun back into their face at warp speed.

This is a motorcycle that will make you forget all your problems— rising fuel costs, tanking 401K plans, your a-hole boss, a failing marriage—get out on this bike and you'll be too busy hanging on, laughing too hard to care. Star is making windshields and luggage available for the bike, so you can use it for commuting or touring—how sensible! The gas mileage isn't great, probably in the low to mid 30's mpg range, depending on how you twist the throttle. That's still a lot better than most cars on the road. Price-wise, the 2009 Star VMax is pushing 18 grand, but it feels like it should cost twice as much. If you want one, you'd better act fast, as only 2500 2009 model year bikes will be brought to the US, in a limited run, and half are sold as of this writing.

Japanese motorcycles are often criticized for having little character, for being functionally perfect, but devoid of soul. The 2009 Star VMax shatters this stereotype completely, possessing character in spades, and inspiring passion as deeply as any European or American bike. If I had to describe the all-too-brief time I spent with Star's stunning new VMax, I'd use only two words.

Whuddah Pissuh!