FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CONTACT:  Wally The Revenging Avenger  (800) GET -EVEN

SUZUKI TO PRACTICE AFTER RACE IS OVER

By Ohlin Metzeler

FOUNTAIN, CO (VPI) In an unprecedented move designed to get a head start on last year's championship after the fact, Team Suzuki has announced they will test after the Pikes Peak AMA Superbike race is over.

"This is in direct response to Vance & Hines Ducati getting to practice right before the race, in clear violation of international law," explained Colorado native, GSXR T-shirt-owner and part -time muleskinner Leonard "Gabby" Pyrite. "If those guys want to play those kinda games, why the Suzuki boys can play too."

This is a startling development to all those who assumed the 1999 Championship would be decided at the final round of the series.
And while some really anal types would point out that no matter how much practice the team gets in it won't make a tinkers cuss worth of difference to the points battle or the Championship, Mr. Pyrite claims that's not the point.

"That ain't the point," verified the greasy drifter as he skinned a frog to make a coin purse for an unnamed Suzuki rider (probably Crevier). " You see, the psychological advantage we will gain by knowing the circuit better than anybody will put Suzuki in a commanding position in terms of the mental war that is the true playing field for motorcycle racing. Points is points, but the real battle is fought in the minds of the competitors. We will have the mental edge. We shall prevail. Fours rule, Twins go to school. That's my motto."

Mr. Pyrite, is a strange, smelly man and we have no idea what the hell he is talking about.

Nobody from the Vance & Hines race organization, the  AMA, the Pikes Peak Historical Society, John Elway Fan Club, or the Joe T. Elk Society for the Destruction of Printed Matter was available for comment.

ENDS